Below you can read about the current project I am involved in. It is an EP consisting of four electroacoustic pieces representing the emotions sorrow, sadness, melancholia and despair.
As many may know, casting light on the past is not always comfortable. Negative thought patterns persist after an incident of emotional or physical trauma. If you did not properly work out those emotions after an traumatic event, it will often come back and haunt your reality and dreams.
In my own case, what helped me emerge from a negative, low vibrating state was realising that I was the one who was in control of my own thoughts. I realised that fear and anxiety was manifesting themselves in my reality because I was constantly in my head, overthinking every situation. I discovered that my everyday thoughts affected the themes of my dreams. I was thinking a lot about problems, and I took those problems subconsciously with me into my dreams. When I was not in control, my subconscious tried to solve those problems for me in my sleep, to help me. When I started analysing my dreams, I also got metaphoric insights into my current psychological state.
By releasing fear and control I started to explore the connection between my brain and body. I found composing music was something that brought me back to reality. After realizing this, I turned to the piano whenever I was stuck in my head, overthinking. I let my hands play in synchronicity with my thoughts. I let go of control, just as I did in my dreams.
This is how I came to understand my inner, suppressed emotions. To be able to hear and feel my inner state and to finally understand why I was feeling this way, and it was an amazing discovery! It inspired me to start doing analysis of my music and I also started to write a dream diary. I explored past events stuck in my head with curiosity, instead of fear and I eventually started changing my thought patterns into a more positive attitude, because I understood the fact that my thoughts affected not only my dreams, but my reality. My here and now. Creating music and soundscapes inspired by experiences in my surroundings, is ultimately what brought me out of periods with anxiety, depression, negative thoughts, isolation and even addictions.
(Addictions can be negative talking to yourself or habits such as tobacco, shopping, pain seeking, exercising, food/eating, working, cutting, alcohol or other drug abuse, a constant need for approval by others, plastic surgery, manipulation, the list goes on...)
These realisations inspired me to create something artistic that could help other people in the process of overcoming emotional pain. Since music was my natural way to express my inner world, I decided to compose an EP with instrumental soundscapes that will take the listener on an emotional journey into the state of melancholy, pain and sorrow.
The EP will hopefully have a release sometime in December 2019 if everything goes as planned. I am looking forward to share this artistic project with society.